


Spanish Inquisition

by Darka3363



Series: It crawled from Tumblr [2]
Category: Monty Python's Flying Circus, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Gen, Humor, Master Kenobi is a little shit and a bastard, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pure Crack, Spanish Inquisition, inspired by a meme of all things, no beta we die like men, this is literally the greatest day of his life, whoops my hand slipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24696742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darka3363/pseuds/Darka3363
Summary: "I have been expecting you" Says Sidious from his throne."Impossible!" screams the head inquisitor, more convinced than ever that archbishop was right and that this vile creature is indeed a subject of Satan.
Series: It crawled from Tumblr [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785466
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Spanish Inquisition

**Author's Note:**

> I deleted one word so it would be exactly 500 words
> 
> The meme that started it all is [this one](https://catchymemes.com/post/620539710356520960)

"For nobody expects Spanish Inquisition!"

"A... _What_... Inquisition?" asks Sidious, rising from the throne.

Spanish Inquisition! And among our weaponry are such weapons as surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Two of our weapons! And fear, fear is our third weapon! Our three weapons are surprise, fear, ruthless efficiency and almost fanatical devotion to the pope! Our four weapons! Our four weapons are fear, ruthless efficiency, surprise and almost fanatical devotion to the pope! And also red robes. Oh, I just can't, I'll come in again."

But just when the Inquisition was about to make their second entrance, master Kenobi has appeared as if from nowhere.

"This won't be necessary, Head Inquisitor, I assure you."

"Kenobi—"

"Maybe you should start on reading the list of crimes this vile creature has committed?"

"You are absolutely right, archbishop!" screamed the head inquisitor to Kenobi. "Cardinal, do the honours."

The cardinal has unrolled something resembling a material.

"You are hereby charged for crimes such diverse as heresy, corruption of a young child, being a subject to Satan, stealing candies from poor girls, eating meat on Friday, which is a fifth day of the week, not to be mistaken by the third day of the week, which is Wednesday, and certainly not to be mistaken by the fourth day of the week, Thursday, and mistaking it for the seventh day of the week, Sunday, is absolutely prohibited and forbidden; and not sharing with others a jar of Nutella when it wasn't bought by you, and being an arch nemesis of the holy church."

"That will be enough cardinal, thank you" Says head inquisitor, stopping the cardinal from doing what was looking to be a rather weird dance. "Now. Do you plead guilty?"

"What kind of foolhardey is it?"

"So you do!" The head inquisitor seemed to be ecstatic.

"I plead nothing."

"Hahaha! Oh, we will change your mind. Cardinal?"

The second cardinal of the group took out of his robe a rope.

"You actually came prepared?!"

"Well, surprise _is_ in our weaponry."

"Tie him!"

Palpatine tried to get away from both cardinals, but they somehow managed to tie him to the throne. Master Kenobi in the meanwhile seemed to have the best day of his life looking at the hopeless situation the chancellor has found himself in.

"Kenobi—"

"Now! We will start your torture with our diverse torture devices such as—"

"Oh, just kill me already, you won!"

"But chancellor, you certainly know that the lynch has been outlawed in the Republic whole millenias ago, and death sentences can only be made by the house of judges with at least 75% of the votes in favour for such outcome. My hands are literally, how should I say, _tied_ " the smile master Kenobi has given Palpatine has shown once again that he has never grown out of being a brat he was for the last twenty years.

And as such, like a bastard, Kenobi watched Palpatine being tortured by the sheer stupidity of the early 20th century.

**Author's Note:**

> My recently reactivated [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/darka3363)


End file.
